I’ve been feeling much more at peace with my body so I decided I am going to write in here every now and then.. no pressures.. just when I want to. because it helps me. and because I like to write.
What has taken me too long to realize is that you really have to make peace with yourself before you can make peace with your food. You have to accept yourself with all your flaws and imperfections, and realize that what you eat is only a tiny fraction of who you are.
I don’t meditate, per se, (I want to but have had a hard time having the patience) but I have been incorporating the ideas behind mindfulness into my everyday life and have honestly seen a difference. Mindfulness is something we can all do. To me, mindfulness is noticing the ways I’m feeling though the day (stressed, sensitive, happy, tired… these are some I notice often) and accepting it “non-judgmentally,” and then taking some deep breaths and trying to handle how I’m feeling in a healthy way.
The commonly used definition of mindfulness is: “Mindfulness is paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally,” according to Marsha Lucas, Ph.D
You can cultivate mindfulness as often as you want. What I love about mindfulness is that it brings me back to my breath, and helps me remember that even if it feels like there is so much going on in my life that is making me stressed, life is ok… and I am safe. and I am healthy.
Also, a type of “meditation” I do practice is laying or sitting somewhere comfortable, breathing in and out with my eyes closed, and repeating a mantra (in my head) like “Let me be calm, let me be safe, let me content. Let me love myself, just as I am now.” This can be more powerful than you might think!
So how does this relate to food? I think anyone with an eating disorder can understand how difficult listening to hunger cues is even after you’ve been “recovered” for a while. I have been trying to eat more mindfully, meaning being aware of my actual hunger and how the foods I eat taste and make me feel, and making sure to include things I really love to eat in my diet. And it’s working because I feel satisfied with my choices (not guilty) and have accepted that there are certain foods I really love that aren’t “healthy”… and that’s ok.
I used to binge often… and I know it is because I didn’t eat mindfully, but instead tried to adhere to an unrealistically small amount of food (for me and my lifestyle). I now have a much more realistic vision of how much I should eat every day and it has made my life so much easier. I hope to blog more so I can show the much healthier way I feel that I live my life. I still do eat healthy and workout, but I definitely indulge in desserts (or other things… eh hem, french fries..) and enjoy drinking with my friends.
Some foods I have happily welcomed back into my life on a somewhat regular basis include…
… can you tell I like chocolate and peanut butter?
I know I’ve been a terrible blogger!! I truly am going to update but my laptop is in the shop right now so I’m gonna do my best :)
If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don’t.
If you like to win, but you think you can’t,
It is almost certain you won’t.
If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost,
For out in the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will.
It’s all in the state of mind.
If you think you are outclassed, you are,
You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win a prize.
Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or late the man who wins,
Is the man who thinks he can.
~ C. W. Longenecker ~
[classic and cliche.. but i don’t care!]